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I’ve never been one to think about my own future. I make some short-term plans, here and there. I’ll take a class, order a magazine, even join a book club at work. But never more than a few months out. I’ve been around long enough to know that plans have a way of changing.
Instead, I think about the past. Perhaps too much. Today I’ve been thinking about one day in particular, November 12, 2002. The last day of my 20s.
I don’t have much around from that day. A few resumes, some old web design PSDs I’d rather not open. It was long before Tumblr, or Twitter, or even Facebook. I had a blog back then, and I wrote fiction. But it’s all gone. Lost on a stolen computer. Frozen in the bits of an unreadable zip drive. Sad poems littering half-filled notebooks thrown away with unread issues of Comm. Arts.
What I do remember about 11/13/02 was a vague feeling of uncertainty. I knew what it was like to be 20, but I had no idea what it was like to be 30. Bush was president, 9/11 was just over a year old, jobs were scarce. The outlook was grim. But I went for it.
A decade later, so many things have changed. I’m a dad now, twice. I just taught my oldest daughter how to play checkers. I’m teaching my youngest daughter to skate. In 2005, I found out that I had a sister, and then we met, and now we play words with friends every day.
The 29-year-old version of me didn’t see that one coming.
Sure, I could have done more in 10 years. There are people half my age around here running companies. Good for them. I think it’s great, but in the end, it doesn’t really matter. I gave it my best shot.
So now it’s happened. It’s after midnight. The grains of sand in the bottom of the hourglass ever-so-slightly outweigh the grains of sand in the top.
I’ll wake up in the morning, do the best that I can, and wait for the next decade to surprise me. I’m certain it will be ecstatic, heartbreaking, fulfilling, and baffling. Just like every other decade has been. But this time around I’ll try to remember it just a little bit more.
Be well, my friends!6 months ago